My year-long sabbatical

My wife Q and I quit our jobs together. I amicably separated from the startup I was working at. Q voluntarily resigned from her position at a big tech company.

The changes brought on by the pandemic and the arrival of two children combined with our inner doubts. I, after singularly focusing on my startup, didn’t know what to do next. Q had always considered her true calling the arts. After years climbing the data science ladder, she yearned to explore her artistic passions.

We had given up competitive, lucrative positions for a thoroughly unplanned future. What if we wasted the sabbatical? What if we had trouble finding financial stability or intellectually stimulating work?

We budgeted our savings for day-to-day expenses. We purchased insurance from Covered California — more expensive than when we were covered by work, but essential for peace of mind.

Balance

Fitness

Our new challenge became finding the right balance between structure and freedom. We discovered a new daily cadence. I embraced a larger focus on physical well-being. I had begun stationary biking in the Zwift virtual world. Soon I added consistent runs and weight lifting. I made sure to sleep enough every day.

Over the sabbatical, I averaged 30 minutes of running, 15 minutes of biking, 10 minutes of weight lifting, and 7.5 hours of sleep per day. My resting heart rate dropped from 65 to 55. My easy running pace dropped from 10:30 minutes per mile to 8 minutes. My body fat percentage, as measured by DEXA, dropped from 20.5% to 13.5%.

Once I got past initial friction, maintaining the habits wasn’t difficult.

Home

We continued sending our kids to preschool and daycare. Meanwhile, we took on more domestic work — buying groceries multiple times a week and cooking more complicated meals.

We both stuck to a schedule as if we were working full time, but we let our curiosity guide us more often.

Projects

One product of that curiosity was zen of things. I envisioned a review site like Wirecutter, but with a focus on good design. I built the first version, essentially a prototype. I made five guides about magsafe stands, wired earphones, utility knives, pour over coffee drippers, and razors.

I took stock after the fifth. Each guide felt like a slog, taking upwards of a week for writing, illustration, photography, editing, and coding. This was on top of a few months I had already spent refining the concept, researching, and building the site.

My blog, on the other hand, offered just the right amount of challenge and reward. I continued blogging and paused zen of things indefinitely. I wrote more posts than I had ever done before, publishing one post per week on average and putting far more effort into each one.

Highlights include posts about Apple’s rounded corners, the Daylight tablet, Design Ah!, Shanghai’s skyscrapers, Jony Ive and Marc Newson’s Leica, and Leica’s engraved fonts.

Connections

Travel

Our sabbatical created space for deeper connections, particularly within our family, which took center stage. We spent six weeks in Asia, visiting family and exploring Shanghai, Suzhou, Taipei, Singapore, and Tokyo.

Once back home, we traveled to San Diego and Houston. Then, we went to Mexico City for a week. Q’s parents came to spend six months with us, exploring Milwaukee, and Madison with my father’s side of the family. We visited Washington DC for my friend’s wedding before heading to New York to see my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. In Dallas my children spent time with my parents’ farm animals. For the winter, my family met up in Charleston and Savannah for Christmas and New Years.

Family

These journeys revealed new dimensions of our relationships. I saw aspects that I had taken for granted and new sides to each person.

Seeing my children spend time with their grandparents, I learned that they were having an experience I’ve never had. Growing up, I only saw my paternal grandparents a handful of times and my maternal grandparents once every year. I never formed a bond with them the way my children have. They not only see their grandparents often, but in the case of their maternal grandparents, share months at a time with them.

Q and I began to understand each other in new ways. If one of us was feeling stuck, the other had the time and energy to go on a long walk to help talk through the problem. As we were both exploring creative pursuits, we could easily see eye-to-eye. We grew closer by working almost like coworkers. Each day we would ask for feedback or tips on how to improve something.

Purpose

Search

As the months passed, our initial uncertainty began to transform into clarity. We began talking about returning to work.

I wanted to approach the job search with a new perspective. I realized that I had jumped into my previous role too quickly, not having a clear idea of what value I could provide and what I was looking for in return. Given my diverse background as a former founder, designer, and engineer, I didn’t know which of my strengths to lean into. I spent time talking to others who have gone through similar journeys, understanding that it’s only through action that I’d be able to find my way.

Practice

The path forward began to emerge through experimentation. I suspected I’d want to get back into engineering, if not completely, at least as a hybrid engineer-designer. I began brushing up on TypeScript using execute program and practiced programming problems as much as possible.

Network

I started to contact founders and apply to positions that seemed interesting. Then I let people know I was on the search, both through social media and my newsletter. Given that my newsletter had grown to a few thousand subscribers, mostly in the design world, intros started to come in. Many of these were from people I had built friendships with online, reconfirming the importance of continuing to write on the web and forge those friendships.

Growth

As I began interviewing, I collected feedback. I discovered weaknesses in interviewing that I needed to remedy with practice. I gained insights into what I was looking for in work. I saw the vast range of teams and ways of working out there. I explored and learned where I could best fit.

Reflection

Impact

I began to realize that what I cared about was making a positive impact on others and finding the easiest path to doing so. This meant working in smaller teams where I can find the autonomy and trust needed to make that impact.

Decision

I ultimately ended up with several offers at hand, which I’d attribute to being very clear about what value I could provide and what kind of environment I was looking for. The decision was tough, with two companies fitting almost everything I looked for. I decided to join Miter as their Founding Product Designer. The chance to use my unique talents towards improving the way we build here in the US is an inspirational vision.

Value

Looking back, the sabbatical proved transformative in ways we couldn’t have predicted. Was it worth it? Hell yeah. After ten plus years in our careers, getting married, living together,and having two kids, we both needed time to rest and refocus. We feared the uncertainty, but ultimately we embraced it. We realized that taking time away is a natural way of refocusing and finding our way when the paths seem hazy.

Despite the financial downsides of living in an expensive area and burning through savings, the break was worth the cost.

I grew tremendously. I found a foundation in fitness and health that continues to today. Where once I was confused about my career, I have found purpose and a personal mission to follow. I can more clearly see how all the pieces in our life fit together.

Gratitude

I have many people to thank for making this sabbatical successful.

First of all, thank you Q for taking that big leap with me and supporting me every day. Second, I’d like to thank my sister and my parents for always supporting the weird turns I decide to take my life and career. Third, I’d like to thank my in-laws for spending half a year with us. There’s nothing like a full home.

Thank you Marcin W, Wendy L, Moe A, and Ken B for taking the time to chat about my career options, help me find a path forward, and compare my job offers.

Thank you Aaron K, Eric Y, John P, Paco C, Paul S, and Taylor T for going out of your way to proactively make introductions.

Thank you Andy Z, Antoine L, Ben R, Cam T, Christian C, Dennis X, Diego Z, Frank C, Glenn H, James C, Jared S, Jonathan M, Justin K, Kevin C, Kevin H, Maksim S, Mitul S, Nick N, Sam B, Taylor H, Usman M, Varun M, Will B, and Yash M for considering me, and in many cases giving me the opportunity to work with your team to discover how I could fit in.

Lastly, thank you to Anuraag Y, Connor W, Sam K, Tobin P, and all the other folks at Miter for being patient with me and warmly welcoming me to the team.

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Thanks to Q for reading drafts of this.